Needing prayer today.

I've been reading lots of blogs about our Christian walk and doing my bible studies each morning (sometimes it's the only thing that can give me a positive attitude.  It has been a huge help.  One of the things that my studying has brought to my attention is to remove whatever sins and negativity I have from me.

Let me tell you, this has been way beyond tough.  I've got 2 things I need to work on right off the top of my head.  And they both have to do with forgiveness and letting God deal with things.  I've always had this horrible tendency to hold a grudge.  I don't mean to and I love the people I get frustrated and stay frustrated with...but the sinful side of me just allows it to keep pecking away at me.  I am working on it though. 

I'm learning to realize that the things that are "done to me" aren't always meant to be done in the way I receive them.  I need to realize and decide in my heart that until proven otherwise, to believe that it was done in an innocent way.

I'm seeing it in my kids as well.  There's a daily lesson lately to have them overlook something their siblings have done.  Just the other day Haylie was laying on the floor and her hair was spread all over the place.  Hunter accidently stepped on it, she whined, and he said "Well get your hair out of the way!".  I got onto him and informed him that a simple "I'm sorry."  would have worked.  Later, Haylie hit him in his knee where he'd gotten an injury back in April and didnt' appologize.  He was very upset and was complaining.  I told him that she was reacting the way he had reacted before.  That if he wanted her to learn to appologize, he needed to learn to appologize to her.  This was a teachable moment for all of us. 

I realized I need to make sure that I show kindness and forgiveness instead of blaming others for what happens to me.  I need to realize that maybe they didn't mean to do any of the things they did.  I need to learn to let go.  It will be tough, but I know it can be done...especially through prayer and learning God's word and keeping the Holy Spirit with me at all times.